Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
