Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
