Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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