I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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