..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nicole vs. Life
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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