I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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