Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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