I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
