I need help removing her.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
