hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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