i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
