I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
