So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
