so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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