Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
