she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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