It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
FUCK WHALES
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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