So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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