At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
