he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He better not be in your backpack
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
