When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
