He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
