How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
