im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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