Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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