life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
