Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
