Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
