i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
