Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
