You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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