Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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