I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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