How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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