So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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