she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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