Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
