so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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