Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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