I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
