I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
