Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
