id be glad to
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
