You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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