a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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