I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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