this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
