how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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