Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
