I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
