don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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