would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
